Where The Hell Is Tora?

Still reeling from having my signature moves AND sound stolen by that Elvis Presley character, it became clear that I had to reinvent myself.  I invented two new spectacular dance moves.  The Running Chinchilla (see picture) and Happy Chinchilla Feet, which involves pointing both feet outward, bending my knees a bit, and running side to side very quickly.  It’s much harder than it looks!  Be especially careful not to try it while crossing the Charles Bridge after 5 too many Pilsner Urquells, or you too will end up swimming in the Vltava.

The dance didn’t quite take off in Europe as I had hoped.  A few years later, would you believe that another one of those plagiaristic Americans managed to capitalize off my ideas and make MILLIONS?  Do you have any idea how many Chinchillas I could have saved with that money?!  I’m quite bitter about it.  You know what? I bet someday that guy will lose all his money and go bankrupt, all because he didn’t donate to the Chinchilla cause.  Alas, my friends, in the face of adversity, rest assured that my spirit won’t be broken.

You can’t touch Tora.  Nobody can